Growing Up Trans: In Our Own Words edited by Lindsay Herriot and Kate Fry (Part 1)
In a series of writing retreats with Canadian transgender teens and adult transgender mentors, Lindsay Herriot and Kate Fry collected stories, art, and poetry attempting to show glimpses of the transgender experience beyond “tragedy or triumph.” The royalties from the sale of the book are put into the organization that came out of the project, the Gender Generations Project, “an ongoing intentional, intersectional and intergenerational collective [putting] all trans, nonbinary, Two-Spirit and otherwise non-cisgender youth in the fullness of all their identities at the center of the project.”1 Reading the description of the organization beyond this, I did not come away with any clear idea of what they do, but it does seem that my city here in Arkansas has indirectly funded it with their purchase of this book for the local public library’s children’s section.
The book has seven chapters: Childhood, Families, Bodies, Everyday Life, Schools, Mental Health, and Acceptance. Each chapter includes prompt-style questions at the beginning, art and poetry created by trans children and teenagers, and a section written by adult trans activists encouraging readers what to do or read to learn more. By “readers” here, I am referring to pre-teens.
Chapter 1: Childhood
In the first chapter, Childhood, the stories stem from children who enjoy playing with some toy or video game that didn’t seem to fit with his or her gender. Like many of the other children’s books I’ve looked at, a boy playing with dolls is made to be evidence that gender is complicated and that he should become a girl. It’s a silly argument for adults, but it can be disturbing for the 100% of children that have enjoyed something primarily marketed for the other sex.
Chapter 2: Families
The second chapter, on Families, is difficult to read. There is so much contempt in the writing of these children toward their families; the purpose seems to be to try to tear families apart. There is almost a palpable lack of understanding and love in these writings as the children try to conform the world to their own whims. It’s as if they alternated reading Ayn Rand and Judith Butler in preparation for this project. This is probably best seen in a short prose work called “Daddy’s Little Girl” (p. 22) by an 18-year old named Danny:
“When I told him I wanted to transition to be a boy, the dread on his face seemed like he lost his little girl […] like his little girl just died in his arms. I kept saying ‘I’m sorry,’ realizing now that I shouldn’t have been sorry.”
In the What Can I Do Now? section, there were some seemingly pro-family statements like, “It may not be safe or wise to urge youth to leave the family home.” and “Our family of meaning doesn’t have to replace our family of origin, but for some of us it will, and it’s just as valid and valued as a family of origin.” (p. 32) Neither of these statements is straightforward advice to leave one’s family, but the entire section is a reminder that it’s a possibility. This departure from the family of origin isn’t leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife. It is more akin to devastate your father and mother and run off with your friends because you want to.
The picture books for children encouraging gender dysphoria are , but the tone of this book is decidedly darker, more defiant, and dangerous. The word “self-love” is present in this book, but I prefer the old-fashioned term “selfishness.” It seems to say that it doesn’t matter what your parents say, what your friends say, what is right and wrong. All that matters is you and your feelings. “Listen to your heart, trust your gut,” (p. 33) and ignore the consequences.
We hear about LGBTQ homelessness from well-funded organizations like Covenant House and the United States Federal Government, and they admit that it often stems from discord within families. Why is treating your grieving father with contempt and leaving home even treated as a possibility for the audience of this book? Why would anyone think this is an appropriate book for the teen section of the library, much less the children’s section where it is actually placed?
Defined as “loved ones, friends, community members and others with whom we cross paths and relate to along the way.” (p. 32)